Most Middle Eastern countries recognize this Islamic law: “After having sexual relations with a lamb, it’s a mortal sin to eat its flesh.” In Lebanon, men are allowed to have sex with animals, but only if they’re female. Doing so with a male animal is punishable by death. In Bahrain, a male doctor may examine a woman’s genitals not directly. Instead, he studies their reflection in a mirror. Muslims, including undertakers, are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England but only in tropical fish stores. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. Certain men in Guam have the full-time job of traveling the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them.  That’s because under Guam law, virgins aren’t allowed to marry. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife can kill her adulterous husband but only with her bare hands. The husband’s lover may be killed in any manner desired. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband.  The first time this happens her mother must witness the act. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia it’s illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with this exception: they may be dispensed from a vending machine only “in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for on the premises.”

In Massachusetts its illegal to have sex with a rodeo clown in front of horses.

In Colorado one can’t kiss a sleeping woman.

Adultery in California will get you a $1,000 fine and/or up to one year in prison

In Utah sex with anyone except your spouse is prohibited.

Rhode Island prohibits unmarried people from sexual activities of any kind. The fine is $10 each.

In Virginia only the missionary position is legal. 

In Connorsville, Wisconsin a man may not shoot a gun while his female partner is having an orgasm.

In Nevada it’s illegal for members of the state legislature to conduct official business while wearing a penis costume, but only while the legislature is in session

South Dakota prostitutes are prohibited from soliciting and/or providing services to customers from inside a covered wagon.

It’s against the law to make love to a virgin in the state of Washington. Newlyweds must spend their honeymoon night out-of-state.

Oral sex is illegal in Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington D.C.

An erection that shows through a man’s clothing is illegal in: Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nebraska, Nevada, New York, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Washington D.C. and Wisconsin.

In Georgia those charged and convicted for either oral or anal sex can be sentenced to from one to 20 years imprisonment.

In Missouri sexually deviant behavior between people of the same sex is classified as a class A misdemeanor.

In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is against the law to have sex with a truck driver in a tollbooth.

In Nevada it is illegal to have sex without a condom.

In Willowdale, Oregon it is against the law for a husband to talk to dirty in his wife’s ear during sex.

In Washington D.C. there is a law against having sex in any position other than face to face.

In Fairbanks, Alaska it is illegal for moose to have sex on the city sidewalks.

Its illegal to masturbate while watching two people having sex in a car in Clinton, OK.

Sex with a porcupine is illegal in Florida.

In Minnesota, it’s illegal to have sex with a live fish.

In Dyersburg, Tenn., it is illegal for a lady to call a man for a date.

In Merryville, Mo. wearing a corset is illegal  because “the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male.”

It’s illegal to purchase sex toys in Alabama.

In Washington state, it’s legal to have sex with an animal as long as it weighs less than 40 lbs.

In Utah sex with an animal is allowed unless done for cash.

No man is can make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota.

 
In Ames, Iowa after sex a man can’t have more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with a woman.

Bozeman, Montana, bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown if they’re nude.

In Carlsbad, New Mexico no couple can engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle unless it has curtains.

Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place in a parked car in Coeur d’Alene Idaho must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man can shoot a gun while his female partner is having a orgasm.

In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless it takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple’s property.

In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.

Motel owners in Hastings, Nebraska must provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. They can’t have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.

Helena, Montana, maintains that a woman can’t dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.

All Illinois bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.

In Kingsville, Texas there’s a law against pigs having sex at the city’s airport property.

A couple accidentally sounding the horn during sex in a car may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.

In Los Angeles a man is entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap as long as it isn’t wider than 2 inches unless he has his wife’s consent. 

Newcastle, Wyoming bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store’s walk-in meat freezer

In Oblong, Illinois, it’s against the law to make love while hunting or fishing on one’s wedding day.

In Oxford, Ohio, it’s illegal for a woman to be nude while standing in front of a man’s picture.

In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota rooms must have twin beds at least two feet apart when a couple rents a room for one night. It’s illegal to make love on the floor between the beds.

No Tremonton, Utah woman can have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. If she does, her name will be published in the local newspaper. He isn’t punished.

In Ventura County, California cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.