Restless Alexa Dunn has come to a military cemetery to pay her respects to her grandfather. Drawn to a new grave, she learns that no family came for Sergeant Keir Lansky’s burial.
Unable to shake the dead soldier from her mind and heart, she returns at night carrying the flag her grandmother was given at her grandfather’s death. A figure steps toward her. Instead of fear, she feels as if her entire life has been in preparation for this moment.
Keir’s loneliness speaks to her. An orphan raised in foster homes, he joined the Army because he wanted to be part of something honorable. Then he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and everything ended. He’s desperate for sex, but although her body wants the same thing, Alexa needs this night to be more so guides him from harsh insistence to languid exploration and trust.
Letting go of disbelief and regret for what Keir will never experience, she focuses on gifting him with the best sex she’s capable of. A sound ends the fantasy. Someone is coming. Keir disappears.
Is this all they’ll ever have?
“I’m back.”
Stepping away from the car she’d left parked outside the cemetery entrance, Alexa tucked the tightly folded flag under her arm and stepped through the open gate. The sun had set, and it would soon be dark. The gate would then be closed for the night. As for why she was trekking up the hill toward Sergeant Lansky’s grave –
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I know that’s why I wound up with my fingers in my you-know-what. And then I came across this flag and, well…”
The American flag had been given to Grandma at her husband’s funeral. All those years, she’d kept it in a dresser drawer, taking it out and holding it sometimes. Grandma had never cried over the flag in her oldest grandchild’s presence, but Alexa knew how much it meant to her.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with it,” she told the sergeant’s spirit. “I thought, well, there wasn’t anyone to give a flag in your memory, so maybe you’d like to…”
She had to stop this crazy, one-sided conversation. And she would, just as soon as she’d come to terms with this insane connection she’d deluded herself into believing she and the sergeant had.
Deluded? But she had heard a male voice in her head. The voice, she was convinced, was responsible for her still turned-on state.
A distant motor started. Thinking it might be one of the groundskeepers, she left the one-lane road snaking through the cemetery and struck off cross-country. Her tennis shoes gripped the damp grass.
“At least I’m not going to fall on my ass. Did you see me earlier? Not the most graceful thing I’ve ever done. Um, about earlier. I’d come on a mission for my grandmother, in case you’re wondering what I was doing here.”
The sunset was middle of the road when it came to colors, yet she stopped and watched the reds and oranges play with each other for the better part of a minute. Although it was still warm, her bare legs beneath her shorts noted the cooling temperature. Served her right for not changing from the shorts she’d thrown on in preparation for an afternoon of packing.
Closing her eyes, she clenched her fingers. Then, sighing in surrender, she ran her hands over her thighs. In her mind, the fingers belonged to a man.
“Why are you doing this to me? I know you’re responsible.”
“Am I?”
The question stopped her thoughts, if not her self-pleasure.
“Maybe it doesn’t matter. Reality is I’m horny,” she admitted.
The motor sound faded, leaving her alone. Opening her eyes again, she embraced the quiet. Her hands continued their journey over her thighs. There were a million stories here, countless lives ended, hopefully most of them at peace.
“Are you all right with this? I don’t know how you can be; your life shouldn’t have ended so soon. How many things did you want to do that you never got a chance to, goals you were reaching for?”
About to rail at the circumstances that had put him in the wrong place at the wrong time, she shook her head and forced her arms back by her sides.
“Did you see the sunset? What about the sunrise, are you looking forward to that? We aren’t alone here, not really. There are ghosts, spirits, something. I sense them every time I’m here, and Grandma always said she felt closer to Grandpa when she was at his grave. Anyway, I’m hoping the spirits are showing you the ropes.”
Even with darkness enveloping her, she knew she was nearing Sergeant Lansky’s grave. Both hesitant and eager, she slowed her pace.
“Smell the dirt if you can. Take a deep breath and appreciate it for what it is, essential. Eternal.”
Although she had more she wanted to say, she couldn’t pull her thoughts together. Part of her silence stemmed from the earthen mound just ahead, the rest had been spawned by her body. She was losing weight and substance, becoming lighter by the moment. She might take flight or fly around like a balloon losing air. Sex, specifically the need for same, clung to every inch of her being.
“You wanted to get my attention, and this is what you came up with?”
When all she got in response to her question were a couple of crickets doing their thing, she mentally went back to this afternoon. She’d heard something. The sergeant had spoken to her, or what passed for speech from a dead man. His words had scraped her nerve endings and sped her blood flow. About to demand an explanation, she pulled the flag out from under her arm and clutched it to her breasts.
Just like earlier, her breasts were getting too large for her bra. The hard nipples pressed against the fabric of her top, which scraped them and made them even harder. Clenching her teeth, she switched the flag to her right hand and then let it dangle by her side. Reaching under her blouse, she slid her fingers between the breast and bra. Relief, sort of.
Need, in spades.
Beyond caring whether anyone saw, she caught her nipple between her thumb and forefinger. Hard barely described it. Sensation screamed over her breast, struck her middle at full speed, slammed into and over her belly, burned a wide path to her crotch.
“Holy shit. Damn it, damn.”
Eyes closing once more, she switched to her other breast. If anything, the fire here burned brighter, and the flames came faster. She wanted — go on, say it! — wanted a cock. Spearing into her. Answering all needs. Turning her stupid but fulfilled.
More crickets, an entire chorus of them. And she was getting drunk on the smell of dirt and grass.
Ghosts, spirits, acres and acres of veterans. Brave soldiers and scared boys, men. Hundreds, no, thousands of men. All of them converging on her and reminding her that she was woman.
But maybe only one was responsible for her charged system.
“You’re doing this, aren’t you, Sergeant Lansky? You weren’t ready to die and aren’t ready to let go. I’m the only living thing you’ve been able to reach, so…”
Out of breath, she let the words fall away. She wasn’t sure whether her eyes were open or closed. She’d come here to complete the task she’d given herself. By leaving her grandparents’ flag with a dead soldier/man who had no one to mourn for him, she hoped it would bring him peace.
Somehow.
Fighting her clawing need for sex, Alexa blinked until the mound came into focus. Then, still cupping a swollen and needy breast, she covered the last few feet and sank to her knees. Head hanging, she pulled her hand out of her bra and closed her achingly empty fingers around the aged and deeply meaningful flag. She placed it on her soldier’s grave.
“This represents so much. Symbolic of what this country is about, the value we put on freedom, pride, and courage. I’d like — I want you to have it.”
This was insane! The groundskeepers wouldn’t let the flag remain, and even if they did, before long, mud would render it all but unrecognizable.
But for tonight, his first night here, what could it hurt?
“I hope you don’t mind.”
“I don’t.”
Seeking to gather her wits, she stroked the flag. The crickets’ song provided the perfect backdrop for the moment, calming and grounding her. Soon the moon and stars would come out. Between them and the night creatures’ sounds, maybe she’d find a measure of peace.
“It really is beautiful on these hills,” she came up with as her nerves again spoke of carnal need. Although she’d masturbated to climax this afternoon, she’d been a fool to believe that would satisfy her. “Peaceful,” she muttered when she felt anything but. “Maybe you already know that, since they told me you used to live in the area. Do you think our paths might have crossed?”
“I don’t know.”
“I…I’d like to think they have.” Something dug into her left knee, prompting her to shift position so her right hip and thigh supported her. After rubbing her knee, she went back to caressing the flag. Too-familiar warmth oozed through her sex. “How old were… are you?”
“Thirty.”
Thirty was too young to die, only a few years older than herself.
“Was it Iraq? That’s where you…”
“Yes.”
What happened, she wanted to ask, but didn’t because she didn’t want their conversation to be about his last day on earth. Then what should they talk about?
“I don’t live here any more,” she came up with. “Grew up a few miles away, though. I went to college right out of high school but didn’t stay with it. Haven’t stayed with anything, if you want the truth.”
“Why not?”
Something cool and soft touched her cheek. Startled, she jerked away. “Don’t!”
“I’m not going to hurt you.”
With the words, her heartbeat slowed. As her veins warmed, she ran her fingers over her cheek. Dampness from the tears she wasn’t sure she’d finished shedding caught her attention.
“Is that what you were doing, trying to brush away my tears?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want you crying for me.”
Although there were a million things she wanted to say, she couldn’t speak. After swiping at a tear, she dropped her hand to her lap. The moment she did, she knew she’d made a mistake. Her fingers were too close to her hungry crotch.
“Is this your doing? You’ve found a way to…to turn me on?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t –”
“I want to have sex with you. You’re a desirable woman, and I haven’t slept with one in a long time.”
How long have you been dead, she nearly asked, but was he? The air was alive with his essence, and her body pounded with desire for him. Although she’d never believed in the supernatural, she’d always accepted her grandmother’s conviction that Grandpa’s spirit lived in her heart. Maybe this experience was as simple as that. She needed to accept that the unexplainable existed. That there really were ghosts. And that one of them had decided to contact her. Her.
She might be losing her mind, but oh, what a way to go.
“About what’s happening to me. I need to be fucked. Hot and furious, no quarter asked or given. But there’s no one to do that for me.”
“Only me.”
Resting on her hip wasn’t much better than kneeling. Holding his words close, she shifted until she was sitting with her legs crossed in front of her, her crotch accessible. Gripping her knees to keep her fingers off herself, she stared at the flag.
“I want to bury myself in you.”
“How? You have no body,” she blurted, then nearly bit her tongue in her determination not to let anyone know she was there, except Keir Lansky. Keir. That’s who he was becoming to her, not sergeant any more. His next words sent her blood sizzling through her veins.
“How do you know?”